Sunday, September 25, 2011

{ Tasks } Setting The Date: Part Four - The Conclusion

I took some advice that I heard awhile back to heart after my meltdown. I gave it 24 hours. I actually gave it 48 hours. I didn't think about it. I didn't talk about it. I just... Reset myself. I needed that to calm my anxiety and the mounting worries of losing the venue and losing the place Carl and I loved because of waiting too long, of waffling too much, etc. Reality was that this was a pointless worry. They still have quite a few days that would work of us, but if I'm not worrying about something, I'm worried that I'm not worried.

I took a deep breath and hugged Carl tightly one night. He is so very much my rock that I needed to hold on to him for a moment before I could voice my thoughts. I told him that I loved the idea of a Friday the 13th wedding, but I really wanted my mom to be a part of our wedding. She's my mom, and I love her. I need my mommy. I want my mommy to be there with my and be excited and happy, not stressed and balancing work and the wedding. I asked if August was out of the question... and his response?

"No... Why would it be? I thought we were going to pick whatever worked best for us. If August works best, August it is."

Paraphrased, of course... but very close.

Really? I mean... really?!! Misconception. Assumption. Anxiety... and it was THAT easy?

Man, those relationship shrinks know what they're saying when they talk about 'communication is key'. Ironic, because Carl and I have prided ourselves on our open communication over the years we have known each other. When did it suddenly become an issue? My guess... Because weddings are a touchy subject. I have my ideas. He has his. Friends have theirs. Family has theirs... and I want to make everybody happy. I need to remind myself that this just isn't going to be possible -- but I will do my best without giving up on what matters to Carl and me.

So the date was settled on after a little more discussion and I proudly trotted upstairs to morning the date up one more time to the 'rents. Mom had been talking to her boss about the July date, I had talked to mine about August, so when I told the 'rents our choice to have the wedding in August, I could almost see a the stresses float away from her. It felt good to have talked everything through with Carl, with Mom, with friends... And now it was really happening.

August 10th it would be, and finally... everything felt real.

Was setting a date difficult for you? What sorts of things did you consider while picking your wedding date?

Setting the Date: Part One
Setting the Date: Part Two
Setting the Date: Part Three


Chrissy said...

I think a Friday the 13th wedding would have completely fit your style, but I still love that your date is 8-10-12! I'm not even the one getting married and I LOVE when people ask me the date so I can rattle off 8-10-12 :).

And please hear me when I say that this is YOUR wedding. Yours and Carl's. Don't worry about pleasing everyone else because ultimately they/we don't matter in this situation. We will all be happy if you're happy, and this whole wedding process is a way to celebrate you and Carl. Your party, your celebration, your promise to each other. It's your voice that will say "I do", so don't loose your 'voice' along the way by trying to please anyone other than yourself and Carl in your wedding...If anyone makes you feel or think otherwise, you tell me and I'll go beat them up :)

Katie said...

That really helps... You know me all too well. I want to make everyone happy... But I also want this day to be a representation of Carl and me. I think if I try to hard to please the world, I'll end up with a wedding I look back and which I had done differently.