Monday, December 5, 2011

{ Planning } Just Say No

In all my time (you know, all four months) being engaged and planning a wedding, I haven't actually had to say 'no' to anyone yet. It's been one big whirlwind of 'yes' since I said yes to Carl... Which is great, since no isn't a word that I care to say. I'm what you call a people pleaser. I hate having to tell people no... Even when I know I have to.

So, naturally, the time has finally come to say no.

I had a vendor email me and ask if I had made a decision yet. We had, but I wasn't quite sure how to phrase my email back to her, so I told her I would get back to her by Friday... well Friday came and went. I know I need to email her back. She deserves a response... but my delightful mixture of anxiety and aversion to the word no is making this super hard!

I consulted a friend at work who is one of our even planners. She gave me the confidence that this vendor wasn't going to hate me. She wasn't going to go crazy and freak out. She wasn't going to have anything bad to say... She'd just take another job and move on.

So why is this part so hard?

After a few deep breaths and relaxation exercises, I set in to write my email.

Dear X,
It was a pleasure to meet you last week! I am sorry it has taken me a little longer to get back to you than I had promised. I did want to let you know that Carl and I have decided to use another vendor for our wedding, but we do appreciate the time you took to show us your work.
We wish you the best!

Katie & Carl
So... How'd I do? Too short? Too simple? Should I have elaborated more, or was that really not needed? The moment of dread has set in now that the 'send' button has been clicked. Now I just smile and move on, happy with our choice in vendor, right? RIGHT??!

How did you deal with turning down vendors? Did you send an email, call, or did you just sort of... fade out of the picture?


Miss Tattoo said...

I think that email is fine. They get them all the time. We sent an email to a videographer that just said we were going in another direction for the wedding and thanked him for showing us his work.

sjkeenan said...

My deepest apologies but the whole time I was reading this blog I couldn't stop thinking "has it really only been 4 months, no, it couldn't be..." After counting twice on my hands and once on my phone I have come o the conclusion that its been 5... I think? Again apologies on being funky, :-/ with that being said I thought your email was very pleasant and I wouldn't mind receiving a no thank you from you :-)

Katie said...

Smart ass :P I love you sister-cousin!!

uberbrides said...

That was perfect. It's so OK to say no, especially if its not what you want.

PS: We love reading about your wedding - keep it up.